4.01 | Grief Is Not Linear with Michelle Valiukenas

Episode Summary

Michelle Valiukenas, the founder of The Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation, joins host Meg McKeen to share more about her mission to change the experience of loss parents - and so bravely shares her experience with loss, too.

In This Episode

Before we get started, know that this episode will address topics including miscarriage, infertility, and infant loss. 

00:00 - 01:26 | Now in its 4th season, Bound & Determined℠ is back! In this season, we'll go even deeper, beyond our roles in insurance and the title on our business card,  exploring the richest relationships we have in our lives, including our relationship with ourselves. 

01:27 -  03:44 | Michelle Valiukenas joins host Meg McKeen in this episode. Michelle is on a mission to change the experience of loss parents and so bravely shares her experience with us here. We acknowledge that it's hard to get hard conversations like this right, and while it's not Michelle's responsibility to give us that space, she has done so for Meg so graciously. 

03:45 - 05:54 | Michelle recently shared a poignant post on LinkedIn, expressing her experience when a flippant comment was made, changing the trajectory of her experience that day, which is not a 

05:55 - 08:21 | Meet Colette Louise; while she lived a very short life, it is so meaningful. Michelle shares more about her journey to pregnancy through in vitro fertilization (IVF) and how she just knew her baby was a girl.

08:22 - 13:20 | With severe pre-eclampsia, at 21 weeks, Michelle was admitted to the hospital; at 24 weeks 5 days, Colette was delivered by emergency cesarean section. Colette defied the odds in her short 9 days of life.

13:21 - 14:43 | Terminology matters and Michelle helps us understand what it means to be a "loss parent." Michelle likes this term because it encapsulates infertility struggles, and the loss of experiences of pregnancy and childbirth, too.  

14:44 - 15:51 | Meg introduces the idea of "ranking" of loss and how often diminish our experience because it's not "that bad." Meg shares more about her experience with infertility in a time when the desire to become a mother was so strong.

15:52 - 21:29 | What did grief look like for Michelle in 2018? What does it look like today? Michelle shares a memory about wanting to go back to "normal," realizing "normal" will forever be different. Michelle is raising her rainbow baby (a baby born after loss) and reflects on the nuances of his life experience without Colette.

21:30 - 25:34 | So many women grieve in silence because our grief can feel inconvenient to others. Michelle shares how she honors Colette's memory in her day-to-day and how many others shared their own personal experience with loss, helping her to know she was not grieving alone.

25:35 - 32:19 | It didn't take Michelle long to know she needed to be part of changing the experience of other loss parents, and she created the Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation to offer a hand in support to others experiencing loss. Through financial assistance, education, and advocacy, Michelle is changing outcomes for families in a time they need it most.

32:00 - 33:59 | Learn more about the important work Michelle is doing at https://www.colettelouise.com, or on social media @colettelouisetisdahl.

34:00 - 36:29 | Entrepreneur to entrepreneur, Meg asks Michelle what she does on the days that it all feels so hard. Hint: grace and why! 

36:30 - 36:59 | Thanks for the important work you do, Michelle, and for sharing your story with us.

To learn more about the work Meg McKeen does to support insurance professionals visit Adjunct Advisors.  

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